I dream of a very mythical, yet logical home as long as I can remember.
Its Mythical in the sense that it is an 'impossible house' and because the entrance has never been the same; its logical because most of the rooms are ones I have seen or read about at some time in my life.

I have yet to see the outside of the house, mainly because I am generally dreaming about something else, open a door or walk into a room and realize I am inside my 'dream' house. The house itself has one consistent basis and that is a balcony overlooking the main room, which in its logical and personal sense, is a huge library.

The rooms are connected by halls and stairwells and there are 'sections' of the home that when I walk into it, it is no longer a discovery, but I will know exactly what the lay out is because I have visited that section in my dream at an earlier time, and some rooms almost every time.

I love to go about discovering new rooms when I find myself within my house. There are two hall ways that are elusive to me right now. I used to get discouraged as a child thinking that the rooms will never be opened to me but I have learned differently now. The frustration would even mount when the time between dreaming of the house were further in between, I can't and really don't wish to control it, I feel some of the mystical edge will disappear.
I still get very excited when I find myself within its walls.

Some rooms are of people in my life that are now deceased. My grandmother's apartment can be found there, Grandpa and Grandma's sun room and my father in law's red crush velvet bedroom with his beautiful woodwork. I have been encouraged when I hap upon them and I love to look through the room because a memory sparks and I gain an introspect I may not have had before visiting. In the case of my cousins Fran and Jen(sisters who both passed away from Cystic fibrosis in the 90's) their room is a redesign, I knew it was their's immediately but it was nothing like I had actually seen. I can tell the room is used but have not ran into Jen or Fran in my dream yet.

Some nights I run through rooms until I make a new discovery and some nights I just want to revisit the old haunts. When I was a child, we visited my Potter cousins who had bedrooms up a narrow stairwell, I know right where to find the stairwell and each room is exactly how I remember them when I was a small girl and was allowed in my teen cousins' rooms.
Occasionally I see people in my home, but they are living in a past that I cannot interact but can only watch. That is rare and I am glad of that.

When my grand father Gage died, I visited his sun room often in my dream and I could see the moon from there. There were words written across the bold face of the moon and I read them as if he were there teaching me simple dedications of truth and to this day remember the comfort in knowing his words never left me.

I dreamt of the mansion last night. I made some new discoveries and delighted in some previous rooms and found a new hall but woke before I could open any doors. I cannot wait to visit again.

In the Upstate NY apartment I have the dual deal of Time Warner Cable being our cable television and Internet provider. I called them today because the internet has been intermittent the last few months.

I explained that we had 2 desk top computers wired directly and 2 laptops which are wireless. The modem and router are located in 2 different rooms and are in inconvenient locations to keep maneuvering, but I did what was asked and required to no avail.

I was on the phone for over an hour hooking up and detaching modems and the router in a variety of series. At that point I had to hang up and recall later because of an appointment, walking out the door knowing I now had no service whatsoever.



I return home, called back, and am on the phone another full hour when Ben asked me to wire my laptop directly to the modem to see if the modem will work.
So laptop in hand, turning the modem at an odd angle, I did so, Wall-ah!! We have connection, only to one computer, balanced in my hand.
Even so I am delighted but am immediately deflated as I hear Ben wrapping up the session as if everything is good now.

I explain this is supposed to be a wireless connection and that there are 3 other computers no longer working.

He says, “Well you need to wire them in directly and get longer Ethernet cables”, asking me casually how my experience was and if they had addressed all my questions.

Stunned, I find my tongue, “For real!?”

Ben stops and says, “Excuse me?”

I asked him if he has my account payment history opened along with this. He says he would have to refer me to billing. I quickly inform him of the cost and tell him of the years I have paid that monthly. I continue by saying, and with that I pay for a wireless and wired in connection that should be working.

I am getting angry, but trying to hold my cool as Ben says, “Well the problem is no longer the modem ma’am”

“No Ben, the problem is still the modem, I am supposed to have wireless and we have not established that. Also dear Ben, I have used this connection for over 3 years and have JUST started having issues. Have we isolated the problem to the router? If we have I will purchase a new router and all four computers will work fine, correct?”

He ignores my question and asks me for my email address, at which he asks if I will answer a quick survey. Upon my #1 for the answer from, “Using a scale of one to ten, how did we meet your need.” Ben hesitates at my answer.

I then say, “Ben, if you called me because you could get on line with all your computers but had a slow and intermittent connection, and I give you the option of standing two feet from the wall, balancing a laptop while the rest of your computers are rendered useless, and one of four people in the household can log on at a time, would you feel pleased to continue paying the large monthly billing and praise me for a job well done?”

There is a pause, darn that intermittent connection has reached Ben’s brain.

“Okay, Ma’am, let’s try this…”

Forty minutes later all 4 computers are working. Finally, after completing the survey, giving my email for future reference and obtaining a reference number in case I have further issues, we come to the end of the session. I have lost the most part of my day to any and all the work I needed to complete, but at least now everything is up and working properly. I sigh gently, at which point Ben says, “Miss, do you know that Time Warner offers an extension of phone service to this plan?” He starts his speal, which at that point I laugh out loud and say, “Ben…Ben…Have a great day.”
I am sure he heard the click in his ear as he was explaining how he can save me money on my bill by including a phone line.

I am sure if there is a scale of one to ten, our confused Ben rated me as a one as a customer.

I adore my girls. They are creative, artistic, humorous and delightful. They have a heart in them that is so wonderfully made and they have taught me lessons on growth that I hardly knew was possible. God is Good to give me such wonderful gifts as these four. Life is not perfect, but it is surely worth the living!

Ashli with a bird she rescued. Returned him to his nest after naming him Love Child. My High School Senior this year!



Kayleen getting ready for Ocean City. Just turned 16! Where did that time go?



My 22 year old scholar, Sarah, Fourth year of college, third in Geneseo University, This picture was a creation of Ashli and her ideas combined. I had it blown up and is on my wall.



Danielle, our 22 year old (my step daughter) who is now moving to Mississippi to be closer to her Coast Guard Boyfriend. Poor daddy! Her boy is super nice, but daddy says he is a punk! Haa haa! Is any one worthy?

Matthew and I have found a wonderful get-away for us, we have made the 2 hour scenic trip to Annapolis Maryland, across the beautiful Chesapeake Bay Bridge and slip into the historic town to eat at a 4 generation deli, Chick and Ruth. This could be my whole blog post tonight, but I will let you Google them at your leisure and enjoy the deli's flavorful historic menu and venue.



I could tell you about the haunts and shops we savored while we were there, tripping up and down the cobbled streets, but that too is not what I want to tell you. What I want to tell you about is what happened on the way home.
We left early enough that the sun was just waning in the distance but the day held enough adventure in its twilight that we were inspired to take a side trip to Saint Micheal's, another historic town that we had not frequented in a few years. We took the turn directly away from route 50 and were enjoying the scenery. Our talk was light and we were reflecting on afternoon. Then I looked up as we passed a small bookstore that I had shopped before as a treat from my husband and realized that store was back on route 50. I then seen the old English brick church with a surrounding cemetery that I always admire, again, located on route 50 and point it out to my husband who looks at me in astonishment. We should not be near 50, we know we turned from the route, a direct left and were heading to Saint Michael, this was not possible, but there it was, Cambridge, the next town down from where we had turned off.
Neither of us talked for a minute as our minds tried to fish out why we were on 50 when we distinctly turned from it and are familiar with the route we should be driving.
Finally I said, "Are you as confused as I am?" And Matthew nodded.
He then said, I took no other turns, which I quickly knew was the case and laughed. For some reason we were not to go there tonight, why fight it.
We headed home and will save that trip for another day!

I wander away at times, rolling in and out like the tide. But I always come back..I hae gathered memories and friends here. I have gleaned fields of wisdom, danced in forums of comedy and felt the tragic loss of life and the strife of anger. I see you as a part of my life now.
7 tides, that is all it takes for oysters to be placed in another region and be called indigenous. Some of you have never left and some of you, like me, come and go and still there are others who left and never looked back. I can;t do that, so why do I fight it? Why do I up and leave. This is the forum I function best, I may as well embrace it and become one of the permanents.


So I am docking my boat and settling in again. Those of you that stayed and never did leave, forgive me, I have missed you.